A twitter ‘paid creator’ story
How it started:
Early January
My feed is becoming more and more populated with news, current affairs, trump war. Obviously the usual Elon reshares (white suprematist, anti fraud, opinions on justice cases) but the regular farming posts (polls surveys, you see this what your next move) are being replaced by news, trump, press conferences.
Jan 4th
Maduro is captured. General outrage equally matched by right wing celebration. The feed is a cauldron of anger in both directions. I make a few glib comments as usual. I then take the time to spend 5 minutes researching the actual legality of the situation (as filtered and simplified by decent journalism- Al Jazeera the clearest in this case, a couple of other sites frame the sovereign natural resources issue well.
I delve back into the timeline armed with my ‘facts’. I feel like a crusader as I respond to posts with self righteous ‘truth’, tearing down ‘drug lord’ and ‘deserved it’ posts with phrases like ‘act of war’, sovereign rights, etc. Get opinionated on the technique of labelling someone a terrorist in a domestic court of law, issuing warrant, the matter becoming legal one not a sovereign one etc. Make sarcastic posts about kidnapping trump as a pedophile under British law. Feels good. Provokes rage.
Jan 5th
Whilst uploading another new piece of art to promote my career and print business, notice a sea of red dots… the likes and reactions are insane. My usual 5 likes is 20+. The opinions are provoking rage and celebration in equal measure. I message my friend David, IT consultant and fellow twitter user. I joke about the power of hate and bait in gaining reach. My numbers are through the roof I say. He mentions the 5m impressions, the payments you get, the passive income. Ill give it a go I say.
Jan 6th
Im busy in the studio painting- I have more or less forgotten about the twitter project. Do I want to spend any more time on that stupid app its sucking life out of me already. Hired a personal assistant because of it. I decide to focus on painting and forget it.
Jan 7th
Theres a guy in Venezuela who says that people shouldn’t comment on the Maduro situation without having first hand knowledge of the situation. I write a masterpiece of satire and sarcasm. Goes over most peoples heads. Many are critical, rude. One mom from Ohio launches a personal crusade- I am responding to her comments but she’s coming back for more. She’s checked my profile. ‘Oh he’s an artist. And British’. This fans her flames of indignation and fury. She calls upon compatriots on the timeline to come witness the horror of my comments… eventually I have to spell out the sarcastic nature of my post. Clearly feeling foolish, but mostly angry, she resorts to nastiness about how its the wrong time to be making jokes and sarcasm.
That nigh I check my numbers. Im up a 1000% on some metrics. Profile visits from 1 to 77 in one day. This is crazy. I speak to David. He’s impressed but not sure if the paid creator threshold is 2m or 5m. If I kept it up for 30 days non stop I might make 2m at this rate. We check. Its 5m. I feel a bit crestfallen. How the fuck do people make 5m in 30 days?
Maybe I could do this for a month. But with these astronomical increases Id still be nowhere near 5m in 30 days
Jan 8th
I open twitter to see s short fuzzy video of a law enforcement officers entangled with a vehicle. The puff of smoke indicates shots fired. This is standard fare on my timeline now… ICE clashes are the most polarising content, right wing catnip and left wing outrage slop. I know I should probably dig a bit deeper but its 6am and I have to make breakfast for my daughter and get her on the bus on time. After watching twice and an expert analysis formed while I type, I mention the direction of tyres, shooting through side window, and a smart arse comment about gun use in USA. She makes the bus on time and I dive back into twitter while I sip my coffee before starting the days painting. Theres still a lot of Maduro tailwind which I gladly dispatch with my usual sarcasm, but also some fresh lazy from Trump. Its easy meat and a bit of a field day but invading Greenland and capturing tankers Somali pirate style feels like a gift. The blurry video from earlier is gaining traction. Oh, it was a recent event, not just click bait. Wait – wut? Better video emerges. Now the feed is beginning to churn and swirl like sharks fed chum… the right-wingers – politicians and all are already proudly crowing in short snappy posts. The car is a weapon, she disobeys and officer- what do you expect? Case closed. Case closed appears a lot over the next hour. There is plenty to get frothy about here (which I do) and I wade in with sarcasm, irony, ridicule towards the right wingers. Im getting a lot of push back. Multi comment trails start sprouting from my comments. Others join these threads on both sides… my comments are getting comments. As the day wears on I admit Im kinda hooked. I spend almost the whole day spouting, stepping back, diving in again. Lighting the touch paper becomes addictive. The right wingers are deranged but fun to poke. From the comfort of a screen 6000 miles away its almost play. Caught off guard when someone mentions ‘what has a Malaysian got to do with it’. Initially shocked to my core and shaking a bit. Ive been exposed. Then I steady myself and resume battle. But for the first time I realise that I am not invisible. Nobody checks my profile, Its a dream (my website meets etc) but never happens. But when someone is furious they will dig, they will come after you. They will check your website- nobody ever does that.
I begin to understand the rules of engagement. A Steele myself and continue until dinner time.
At the end of the day I screenshot David my numbers. He’s impressed but not surprised. He goads me to go for the 5m. I might just make it.
Jan 8th.
Spending most of the day on other tasks. Check in on twitter to farm some posts. There is plenty of reaction to the initial assessment, and left wing opinions are gathering momentum. Its not as clear cut. She was turning away. New footage emerges. Its not looking quite so great for mr ice now.
Theres even a U turn post from a vlogger who says maybe he was a bit hasty in his assessment. BINGO. Slaying him for apologising (sarcasm) consoling him for his error (its what we’re paid to do on this app) and encouraging him to get back to uninformed opinion to get his impressions up. Im feeling very pleased with myself now. Im developing a voice, a character. Court jester once more. But something strange happens. After an hour or so of trawling the footage, the counter arguments, the emerging evidence, I start to feel nauseous. The rage and counter rage is wearing. Arguments from left and right are spiteful and vicious. Watching more and more footage of ICE members pepper spraying people, rugby tackles, people bundled into trucks, to the cheers of fascists and the jeers of leftwing extremists… its a little exhausting.
Relief comes from one clip, A group of students are surrounded by ICE. Headlocks, face on the ground in the cold ice on the pavement. Pepper spray to the face from zero distance. Then retaliation. A snowball catches an ice officer right in the face. Its panto. Its slapstick. It makes for a great content share. Nausea gone Im back in the room.
Jan 09th
I have a strategy now. Im reply guy. Im looking for posts with big numbers. 80k impressions? Forget it. If I spend time responding to comments there I could be missing bangers elsewhere. 350k. Perfect. And its a JD vance press conference video clip. Easy pickings…
This strategy is working. In only 2 hours I have surpassed the impressions of my entire day’s output earlier in the week. Im more targeted now, more ruthless. After dinner I loop back to smart arse some responses to my comments earlier, and tidy up some loose ends. Theres something about Kier Starmer banning X. The yanks are baying for blood as a US senator calls for the sanctioning of not only Kier Starmer but the whole UK. How does that even work? I jibe. If a country is prepared to buy a sovereign state (wtf?) Then sanctioning a nation should be a walk in the park.
For the first time I try to slam left wingers. Im trying to come up with witticisms slaying the radical left. It feels awkward and clunky, like pushing a wind up toy backwards against its mechanism. I manage a half arsed post- my hearts not in it- but this is not about me. This is about reach.
Jan 10th.
I awake to 450k impressions from yesterday alone. Things are beginning to accumulate. Posts from 5th are still getting traction. My silly laughing gif teasing the US about their ‘doomsday’ jumbo jet built 50 years ago seems to be bread and butter for my stats- the gift that keeps on giving. Impressions pile onto yesterdays impressions. Number go up. Its Saturday morning. That means its Friday night USA. After work drunken phone checking- surely rich pickings for a sarcastic bastard to rile some rightwing yanks. I settle with a coffee and get to work.
A trump press conference hands me a couple of gifts. A statement re. Greenland about not wanting to have Russia or China as neighbours is ripe for a visual pun in the form of a map of the Beiring straits. Another comment from the same conference claims ‘just cos Denmark landed some boats on the island 500 years ago doesn’t give them entitlement to ownership. Cue Christopher Columbus gag. Its like shooting fish in a barrel! But new footage of the Minnesota shooting from the ICE officer body cam appears to vindicate the shooter. Obviously its ambiguous as at the key moment the camera only points skyward, but for us farmers is mana from heaven- inconclusive evidence that can be argued from both sides with equal fervour and venom. Again the work begins to feel disturbing… adrenalin makes my body shake as I take on various protagonists from the right mainly, almost hearing the spit fly from their mouths as their comments rage with authority and indignation. Knowing you’re poking the bear is kinda scary. One commenter blows a hole in my comment because I use the phrase ‘at the point of impact the camera point skyward’ – I realise I just won his argument for him that she hits the shooter with her car. I feel a bit stupid, like one of those courtroom drama where the attorney fucks up his own case through some stupid error. But its momentary and Im back to work trawling the timeline for good meat. 3 ice officers pummelling an unknown citizen on a pavement seems like good bait. We don’t know the crime, we don’t know the circumstances- but this matters little as a farmer. Its provocative, its difficult to watch (it looks like a movie where the hero loses it and continues pulverising his nemesis long after he’s dead because he’s lost touch with reality and red mist clouds his senses) and as such will doubtless bring baying crowds from both sides- right warning leftists that this is what will happen if they fuck with ICE, left vindicated in their claims that ICE are the gestapo, licensed thugs out of control in a broken society.
I check my stats. I no longer count likes (notifications cant keep up) so its straight to analytics. All morning Ive been panicking because it was stuck at 7103 impressions. I kept refreshing and checking back- 7103. I reason that analytics refreshes only sporadically and at midday I am reassured- 103k. Yesterday I made 450k in 24 hours. Maybe I can match that on a weekend. The temptation to dive back into to the timeline is strong- Its like panning for gold… what if you miss a nugget… but I force myself to stop for lunch with my family.
Jan 11th
Sunday morning. Woke up. Checked analytics… 800k impressions in one day. Almost double the previous day which itself was double the previous.
But somehow today I cant find the motivation or inspiration to grind down at the farm. I feel flat. Washed out. I guess the relentless trawl of the timeline, the repeated clips of the same video (Minnesota shooting) the knuckle dragging drawl of the right wing sympathisers and the whining superiority of the radical left is draining. A very articulate post outlining the indicators toward a war against Iran is very informative but nothing I can work with. I read with interest the probably nature of the attack, the alignment of the various cogs of geopolitics hinting at a surgical strike in one or two days… but Im uninspired. I cannot believe that after just 5 days of shitposting I’m burnt out. Maybe I need a days rest.
But then I stumble upon a clip from an old lady, commenting that ‘this is what my husband was like near the end’ obviously referring to a tragic demise thanks to senility or Alzheimers. The clip is from CNN and shows the meeting between Donald Trump and the Oil Executives invited to rebuild $100bn oil processing infrastructure in Venezuela. In the clip, Trump suddenly gets out of his chair, walks to the window, and while pensively looking out coos ‘wow- beautiful. This is the door to the ballroom’ before retaking his seat. It is senility personified. The old man is crazy.
Two minutes on a free AI video generator and I have my material- Don dancing on the oval lawn with an imaginary dance partner, all by himself. Banger.
Monday January 12th
Couldn’t muster the energy or the enthusiasm to farm the trenches of slop and hate. Was expecting Monday to see a resurgence of activity, but America being 12 hours behind it ended up a quiet day for engagement. Not even war plans for Greenland or an impending strike in Iran rouses the masses. The Minnesota shooting is becoming same, repetitive and characteristically polarising. The same video provokes equal and opposite assessment from right and left. Its blue dress gold dress syndrome. I make a meme of that very phrase but it goes over peoples heads. People don’t want clever they just want hate. A measly 350k impressions leaves me feeling crestfallen and empty. How ridiculous is that…
Tuesday 13th
Targeting key accounts (Trump, Homeland Security, Department of Labour) is my strategy today. Theres a bit more meat on the bone today, but Im noticing that old posts from Sundays bumper session are still getting traction. This explains the winners winning more scenario of the algo- posts are cumulative. Good old posts are just as good as new posts, and keep delivering impressions. However rather than yesterdays strategy of combing the timeline for a potential banger (I hate that phrase but its part of my industry’s standard to I must adhere to protocol) I switch to spamming… yes being super witty or smart arse funny on some key posts, but also just spamming any old shit response to any post that even holds my eyeballs for more than half a second. And the result is interesting… I don’t have to be funny or clever, I just have to be- and I am rewarded with impressions.
Monitoring the analytics is becoming a nervous tick. Where once I would await the little red dots that signify a notification, I have now turned off notifs for twitter (the relentless buzz of a phone on silent was driving me mad at night) I know check into the bar charts and response tallies with every increasing regularity. I curse the fact that activity data only refreshes once or twice between 8am and 1pm (something to do with US servers no doubt) as it always leaves me sweating at 11am as I check the same 9am stats of 20k impressions. How will I make my 500k quota if we’re stuck at 20k all morning? Regardless I spam responses to Iran protest commentary, speculation and hyperbole. I mock Elon and his crazed right wing white suprematist mania (which incidentally seems to be getting worse) plus today heralds a new strategy by every US govt department of adopting actual Nazi propaganda phrases for press conferences, media and broadcast messaging. Its rage bait designed to infuriate the ‘left’ which of course it does- and the ad revenue is the big winner.
Interestingly, a comment about the situation in Patagonia where Israeli tourists have torched an entire forest sucks me down a jewish rabbit hole, and the algo sniffs blood and fills the timeline with anything jewish/Israeli/zionist. It’s a struggle to get out of- and get out is what I want as trying to engagement farm anything Jewish is a minefield. I cannot risk account suspension at this point so relentless search bar action for TRUMP or Minnesota eventually convinces the algo to correct course.
As a side note, the Trump search threw up an interesting anomaly: normally, when scrolling through my For You timeline, there is a healthy percentage of Fox News, various government and white house department and personal trump propaganda. Its the bread and butter of a farmer like myself and very much expected. But interestingly when presented with search results for ‘Trump’ the landscape is very different. The criticism, the anger, the disbelief, the fact checking and the ridicule are in abundant supply. Of course none of this shows on the timeline organically (twitter is Elon is trump) but it is an eye opener to see the veneer peeled back.
—-
At the end of two weeks I have achieved 5m impressions. What I thought wasn’t possible in a month actually manifests after 14 days of hate and slop, even while taking a break halfway through to combat depression and losing steam in the last few days to round off the last 300k impressions (I had achieved that in a couple of hours when in my spiteful prime).
But Im there. I have the 5m. Its a mixed feeling of relief and ennui- the respite from the relentless racism, stupidity, milk commercials and ICE. But also there is a small hole in my routine, in my purpose. I no longer need to grind. I no longer need to hate for a living. I scroll for a few minutes through the timeline. It’s a mess. Far right psycho’s threatening to drive over illegals in their trucks, leftist nut jobs filming each other screaming and swearing into the faces of heavily armed, masked, twitchy fingered ex soldiers. I marvel at the ignorance and self righteousness of these Karens. And the stupidity. But now what? My timeline is fucked. Ive trashed my twitter account (since 2009- most of you weren’t even born then) and reflect on the rash decision not to make an alt account first before this ridiculous exercise. I stab in a search for ‘digital artist’ to try and relieve the slop being thrown at me. Then another search. Anything that comes up I comment on, like, retweet- all love and critical rigour and sensible answers.
Within minutes the also is listening, responding. Within 10 minutes my feed is restored to pre-slop normality. I marvel at the responsiveness, the delicacy of the algo. It is hypersensitive. You can manipulate your entire feed with a few clicks and comments- for better or for worse.
I am a new man now, Yes, I am a paid content creator. Yes I got paid $124 for my journey to 5m. … but I post about art now, I post about things that interest me. And my numbers are dreadful. At my peak I hit nearly a million impressions in one day. Now Im getting 40-50 for a post about typography or vintage crisp packets. I feel like Henry at the end of Goodfellas… just a normal guy. A schmuck like the rest of the cattle out there- the retail. The slop fodder.
But I feel clean. Fresh. Inspired. I am back amongst friends. Among painters, pixel artists- Dare I whisper it ‘crypto bro’s’ (don’t let Nikita hear you say that!!!)
The experience was eye opening and at times absolutely horrendous. Like watching a car accident in slow motion but you cannot turn away.
Boy am I glad that is over.
